I’ve wanted to write a little about some miracles I’ve experienced in my life this year. I’m truly in awe of the outcome of some of these – they can only be described as miracles.

On Thursday, May 12th, 2022 I received a phone call from my sister. She told me that my dad had experienced a massive heart attack. At the time I was out shopping with my oldest daughter, spending some quality time together. I honestly was stunned. What do I do? I’d never experienced anything like this and I felt a little out of sorts. We knew it was bad.

Dad and Mom were out hiking with some friends of theirs in the mountains near their home in Nampa, Idaho. After their hike, they made a restroom stop in a nearby town – I believe it was Idaho City but I could be wrong. Mom and Dad were looking at some brochures, Mom with her back to Dad, when she heard a crash behind her. She turned around and saw that Dad had collapsed to the ground. Blood was starting to pool around his head and he wasn’t breathing.

Mom cried out and their friends eventually came out and heard her. When they saw the situation, they called 911. Paramedics arrived within 5 minutes. This whole time Dad wasn’t breathing and his heart had stopped. Once there, the paramedics intubated Dad and started doing CPR. They got his heart going again and called for emergency backup. A medical helicopter picked them up and flew Dad to the hospital in Boise. I think Mom rode with him. When they got to the hospital, Mom called her brother, Tom, to come be with her. He immediately came. While they were doing tests on him, Dad had another massive heart attack. Again, right in front of Mom. Again, he coded. Again, he was revived and finally taken to surgery. The crazy thing was that the EKG (EEG?) showed that everything was normal – he showed no signs of there being anything wrong with his heart.

Mom called Tamra between the two heart attacks. Tom called Tamra after the second one and said the prognosis was pretty grim. He called us again while we were driving and said he didn’t think Dad was going to make it. There were so many unknowns. Dad hit his head when he initially fell but at the time Mom didn’t know why he fell or if she should move him. She thought he may have had an aneurysm. Dad had been without oxygen for approximately 7-8 minutes – enough time that brain damage was a definite possibility. The heart attacks were severe and we didn’t know if Dad could physically make it through the trauma.

Tamra and I consulted and decided we needed to get up to Idaho to be with Mom. Looking back at it, we should have left immediately. But Mom kept saying she was OK and not to worry about it. Tamra and I decided that she was too traumatized to tell us what she really needed and so we overrode her request for us to stay home. I called Mom and said we were on our way and that’s when she said she would really like that.

It’s a 6-hour drive from Spanish Fork to Nampa. By the time I got everything arranged, it was 6:30pm. Jillian drove me to Riverton and Tamra drove the rest of the way. We stopped for dinner at a diner and made it to Nampa at 1am. Mom had just barely arrived home and one look at her told us that we made the right decision to be with her. She was a wreck, understandably so. I will be forever grateful that Tamra and I were able to be with her at such a difficult moment. We all thought that we were facing the very real possibility of saying goodbye to Dad. It was a very tender moment.

The next morning we were up early. Mom had stayed up the entire night praying. She looked much more at peace. She said that she had to wrestle with the possibility of three different outcomes and be OK with all of them. The first possibility was that Dad would survive and make a full recovery. This was the least-likely possibility. The second was that he would survive but that he would have permanent brain damage. This was very likely since he had been without oxygen for so long. (Mom felt like she would be responsible for this because she didn’t do chest compressions on Dad while they were waiting for the paramedics to come. She had been beating herself up about this because she knows CPR. It was one of the things Tamra and I had to clear with her when we first arrived – that she wasn’t at fault because she was experiencing trauma herself.) The third possibility was that Dad wouldn’t make it and we would have to make the decision to stop life support – something we knew Dad would have wanted.

Mom said she was ready for every situation. She was at peace and would face whatever outcome. Again, we were glad we were there together. We arrived at the hospital and Dad was still in the ICU, still intubated, and still unconscious. We all went in together to see him and he looked pretty rough. He had a huge blood clot on his head where he hit it on his initial fall. A technician was checking his brain activity. We held his hands and said comforting words. We hoped he could hear us but I think they were just as much for us as for him. While we were around him, he blinked his eyes! He started to look at us and we commented to the technician that he was waking up. He said that he had been doing that a few times since he had been there but that each time he fell back asleep. This was so encouraging to us!!

As he become more conscious, Dad was really confused and kept trying to grab his endotracheal tube. Tamra told him what had happened and that he needed to leave it alone. We finally realized that he thought he was in the hospital with Covid. Mom said he was really scared about being intubated if he ever got Covid-19. She said he felt like if that happened, he was pretty much given a death sentence. We had to reassure him that he didn’t have Covid-19 but that he had a heart attack and was getting great care and that he needed to keep the tube in his mouth. Tamra was great at this – I felt like she knew just what to say. the nurses had to tie his hands down so that he didn’t do any damage. It was so tender holding Dad’s hand and having him squeeze my hand in return. We had to explain what was going on several times.

Because of Covid-19 restrictions, the hospital would only let one other person besides Mom be in the room with Dad so Tamra and I had to take turns – we were actually wearing similar outfits that day and both answered to Brenda. haha. We didn’t care what the rules were – and the staff wasn’t very strict in enforcing them. While with Dad, we learned from the technician that Dad didn’t have what he was looking for – and this was a good thing. He was looking for brain damage and didn’t have the authority to give his results to us but his saying that he didn’t see what he was looking for was very comforting.

Later his heart surgeon came to visit. This was super interesting. He was the one who removed the large blood clot stuck in his artery. Doctors call it the widow-maker artery because a heart attack there usually kills people immediately. The fact that Dad had two massive heart attacks caused by this clot and was now awake was incredible. He said it was a miracle – even he didn’t think Dad was going to live.

Dad had to wait a few hours for the endotracheal tube to be removed – I wasn’t in there for that but when I saw him next I could tell that he was relieved. He continued to gain more awareness but it became very clear that he was having some short-term memory problems. Honestly, these hours were very sweet and tender for me because I saw Dad stripped down to the core of who he really is – a loving husband and father.

Because of his short-term memory loss, he would turn his head after noticing me standing there and exclaim in surprise, “Brenzie! I’m so glad you’re here! I love you so much! I love your mother! I just love my family so much!” We would explain to him that he’d had two massive heart attacks and he was in the hospital and that Tamra was there too. Each time he would say in astonishment, “I didn’t know that! Wow!” Then five minutes later we would repeat the conversation. Every time it was new to him. Every time he was surprised and delighted to see me. Mom and I had several giggles about it.

That night was rough for Dad. The short-term memory loss caused him to become very confused and frightened. He thought Mom had left him there and he didn’t know why. He eventually ripped out his catheter, which ended up causing some problems with pain and discomfort – understandably so! That day was more of the same, although he was getting antsy to move. The memory loss now made him more agitated. When it came time for us to leave, Tamra wrote him a note explaining what had happened to him and that he was to follow the directions of the nurses and doctors.

He told us the next day how helpful that was. He woke up in the night and couldn’t remember why he was there and what was going on. He read the note several times and he was able to relax. While Dad’s short-term memory has since returned, he still has no recollection of his heart attacks, the hospital stay, or even that Tamra and I were there. He has told us that he is sad he can’t remember our visit but that he is so grateful that we were able to be with Mom.

While the doctor said his survival was a miracle, there were other events that were just as miraculous. First, had his heart attack come while they were hiking, they would not have been able to get him the help he so desperately needed so quickly. Second, the paramedics on duty cover three different towns and they just happened to be stationed in Idaho City that day. If they had been in either of the other towns they would not have been close enough to reach Dad in time. Third, Dad was expected to have some brain damage due to the length of time he was without oxygen. But he doesn’t. Not one bit.

Dad should not have survived. He should not have made a full recovery. But he did. It was truly miraculous. There is no other way to explain it. I’m grateful the friends Mom and Dad were with helped Mom. I’m grateful the paramedics were nearby. I’m grateful Uncle Tom was there for my mom. I’m grateful Tamra and I were able to be there also. I’m grateful for the excellent care Dad received – modern medicine is truly miraculous. I’m grateful I saw an innocence and purity in Dad that showed me how much he values and loves me, my mom, my sister, and our whole family. I treasure that experience.

Brenda